mystashbeau

i'm quite lacked when it comes to love.
And i need that in life.And i cant be expecting that when i cant love somebody.fuck.

pink is not my color.
i was not introduced to pink since i was a baby though i am a baby girl.
but i'm proud being my own color.
and i believe that makes me beautiful for being who i am.
=D

a call from mum always make me cry.grow up bitch.

i get annoyed easily to know someone beside me doze off during an emotional scene playing in the cinema.

i'm unable to forgive.
that is how brutal i am.
no more i want your love.
i think that is not love you have given me.
no more i want from you.
and stop carrying me away to your fairy tale i am not suppose to believe to.

i shall stop being your everything,
everyday i would feel i reminded you of her everything.
i shall stop listen to your words,
every single one seems ironically impeccable,
i shall watch you fade,
as i have no more mean anything to you,
i hated the feeling of mind bugling about you.
you are no more what i want in life.

_couldn't bear to see the face of you which has drawn sadness to my heart_

When we were growing up you always looked like you were having such fun
You always were and you always will be the taller and the prettier one
People seem to love you
They gravitate towards you
That's why I started to hate you so much
And I just completely ignored you

I don't know why I felt the need to keep it up for oh so long
It's all my fault I'm sorry you did absolutely nothing wrong
I don't know why I felt the need to drag it out for all these years
All the pain I've caused you
The constant flow of all the tears
Believe me when I say that I cannot apologise enough
When all you ever wanted from me was a token of my love
And if it's not too late
Could you please find it deep within your heart
To try and go back go back to the start
Go back to the start

I've been so evil with my constant invasions
But you made it so easy for me
You always rise to the occasion
I'll always pull you up on every stupid thing that you say
But I found it so entertaining
Messing around with your head

I don't know why I felt the need to keep it up for oh so long
It's all my fault I'm sorry you did absolutely nothing wrong
I don't know why I felt the need to drag it out for all these years
All the pain I've caused you
The constant flow of all the tears
Believe me when I say that I cannot apologise enough
When all you ever wanted from me was a token of my love
And if it's not too late
Could you please find it deep within your heart
To try and go back go back to the start
Go back to the start
Go back to the start
Go back to the start

This is not just a song
I intend to put these words into action
I hope that it sums up the way that I feel to your satisfaction

I don't know why I felt the need to keep it up for oh so long
It's all my fault I'm sorry you did absolutely nothing wrong
I don't know why I felt the need to drag it out for all these years
All the pain I've caused you
The constant flow of all the tears
Believe me when I say that I cannot apologize enough
When all you ever wanted from me was a token of my love
And if it's not too late
Could you please find it deep within your heart
To try and go back go back to the start
Go back to the start

i have forsaken myself,
of how much longer i can take,
my inferiority that has been dragging me down,
gradually,time and time again,and it is reaching the bottom,
the depth that will destroy my self esteem,
which i have seen no light of life.

i have long forgotten,
the tears that i have long shed,
it seems more excruciating,
from the one i had before,
every drop becomes a heart wrenching moment,
i wish not to deal again.
it seems like a lifetime curse,
i had to endure my lifetime,
cause that i brought myself to.

pumping of adrenaline running in me,
so much i want to run,
uncountable beat of my heart pumping fast,
i want to run as fast as i could,
trickling down of sweats along my foreheads,
i feels the chilly breeze of wind rustling against my cheeks,
so much i want to run,
till i feel no aching in my feet,
away,away far away from the current,
yet i have nowhere to run to.

when people are curious about you,
they act as if they concern about you,
and they ended up exaggerate about themselves to confide in you.
'hey,what is your result?'
'well,i did badly.all C's buddy.'
'oh,same goes for me here.i got all A's.'
when class ends,friend just couldn't stop mentioning about how hot a chick can be.
particularly someone close to you.
'alright,she is seriously hot.'
'yeah yeah i know i am not as hot as she is.'
'yeah,i cant agree more.'
and well,words like that could hurt.
pretty much i am just being sensitive.

You shouldn’t have been living any longer,
Live isn’t worth living,
For hopeless pauper like you,
And it is never worth your stoic tears at night,
Just to calm you through the night,
Nobody knows,
Your past changes every single dream you wish for,
Every night praying hard it would come true,
It never seems true,
A perfection leading to a lie,
Dying of you still to pursue.
You don’t worth making anyone pleased,
Even though your capability to trick everyone in the world,
That you seem perfectly fine with your sweet smiles,
And sorrows draw miles away from your fragile face,
Your ancient sweet smile has been long forgotten,
And no one has seen to discover.

i am still thinking you would treat me like one of them,
deserve a little of your affection,
it is only envy i feels from them.
of how lucky when being loved this way.
i ought to realize i don't need so much love as i grow,
but its more that i yearn for.
a failure standing right in front of this mirror,
doesn't deserve abit of love at all,
when there is nothing to prove my love for you worth giving..
perhaps i don't work hard to earn even a single concern from you,
all i receive is glare and mistreatment.
unlike the rest..
never will i be receiving the similar affection.
for the rest of my life...

i should have stopped feeling messed up.
when times my words being starkly.
i knew life seems prudently depressing on you.
no one has the idea how doleful your life has been.
i wish to lighten the weights in your dear,fragile shoulder.

i wish i'm not that lucky to be in such state.
gradually i live in pain and heartache.
you have no idea the fake smile i've put on each day i face you.

i'm feeling the blues,
so much i've thought of you,
drifted into such a distance away,
i can't remember my last heart lay.

missing your dream island vacation,
trying to recall my loyal devotion,
i'm so much devastated,
memories of you is left remain i gathered.

pretty much i'm confused life in future i can never foresee,
wishing i can feel the love for thee,
ripping slowly patches of my dream,
its all left with only movement of my numb limb.

how can i let go of you,
for you have heal the torment i've live with,
my scars endlessly you have try to heal,
so much i need you badly.

i cant deny my love,
i'm lost so much parted so far,my love.
will you be here for me,thy love,
ironically uncertainty of the real you,my love.

my life is such a complete mess.gah...

time and time again,
its skeptical to be true,
that i've once noticed again,
when being good to me isn't being part of you.

time and time again,
i had to live my darkness through,
yet existence of another you, once again,
is not right to be true.

time and time again,
i don't wish i'm pathetically being a fool,
when you are being hurt yet again,
by my words sting deeper to your soul.

time and time again,
aplenty of words just lost in my voice,
i'm sorry for once again,
you are a man of great poise.

i wish it will never occured to me again.
it just hit me again.